Prologue

It is October 3, 2010 and while driving to work I began thinking about my life.  There are many things for which I am grateful for, and other things that I wish I could change.  All things combined lead to my current mental status and the realization that things are not what I wished they would be a year ago   Back then. I was living in St Louis and dealing with anxiety and depression issues.  I lived in a high rise building on the 6th floor with Lelia and absolutely hated it.  I swore I would never live in a building where you have to park in a parking garage or take an elevator to get to your apartment.  I hated the winter months and the snow.  Yeah it was pretty when it was fresh, but then it gets gross and your pants get dirty and wet and the cold just chills you down to the bone and you can never be completely warm.  Now, a year later, I have what I wished for and yet I am still not as happy and I thought I would be.  I realize now that my therapy is not over, but because I do not have the time or money right now to find a therapist, I must find my own way to treat the issues I am dealing with.  That is where this blog comes in.  I do not know who if anyone will ever read it, but I have alot of thoughts and experiences that need to be released and what better way to do it than write them all down.  I have never been a good writer so I really do not know where to begin, but the teachers Ive had, have always told me to pick a very precise topic and nothing to broad.  So that is what I am going to try and do.  I am going to try my best to just write and not get overwhelmed by the amount I have to write about and stick to it.  Even writing this short bit, I feel better and so I am going to go and watch some netflix and think about what my 1st blog will be about.  4:00pm 10/3/10